Generation Gap

I am losing everyday

my words are getting clouded

I want to be me

but am lost somewhere

my own breath laughs at me

Asks me "who will you be like 

the past or the future?"

my present self is torn apart

one is lost in Google

the other still gets enchanted 

by the milky murmuring spring

both the selves are parallel

the' I' gets burnt in the divider vertical....

I want to be me

but  am lost somewhere

digonto: the positive way of looking at things

digonto: the positive way of looking at things: The flat I live in, has five tenants.....recently, the all India radio of my house ,my domestic helpwho is The Informer of this locality, ga...

the positive way of looking at things

The flat I live in, has five tenants.....recently, the all India radio of my house ,my domestic helpwho is The Informer of this locality, gave me the story of one past inhabitant of the flat infront of mine.......everyday she unfolds many misteries.....to add to that, this is the newer one.......one lady with husband ,a daughter,and MIL used to live there.....after few months the man was not to be seen.....but many other people used to visit her.....hearing this I was kind of scared ,anticipating what she was upto......and naturally she ended up calling that lady a BAD LADY....when asked why, she told many men used to come even one of the neighbour also....I believed at first as 'bade bade sheheron me aisi choti choti baten toh hoti rahti hai.....'.I was also advised not to talk with any neighbours......hahaha..She even told that without giving 6 months rent that lady fled.....Poor Mala, what she will do .....cinema tickets are so costly nowadays that they make cinema out of their surroundings................

Now I was thinking about this matter very seriously.When a lady is on her own ...people start thinking wrong about her.....which is very easy to say.....how many would have tried to peep into her heart ,tried to know where her husband had gone?......If she had been a wrong kind of woman then she must have been rich enough to give rent....and the neighbour might have been a generous man to extend a helping hand to her.....the other visitors might have been her relatives....who were performing their duty to avoid the situation like 'kal koi baat nahi honi chahiye ki hum dekne tak nahi gaye' ...

The thing is, why cant we think in a positive way.......?.Why to relish someone's distress,make gossips,make scandals.......To me she was a mother of a child,had a mil to look after,had to carry on life sustenance without husband and money......I can feel her heart the moment she left stealthily without paying the rent......how insulting it might have been for her......

AND We? we pass judgements.abuse and make fun of.....
If not all these ,if at all she had been on a wrong path to earn money for bread and butter for the family.....what wrong had she done?She never begged,stole,manipulated.decieved....she had utilised herself,her biggest possession.....HER SELF RESPECT.........

the witnesses of my life's journey

when I was a kid nibhar ma used to come to our house as our domestic help,Iam told that she used to love me very much.After her death her elder daughter bibha entered and I used to always behind her wherever she went and whatever she did....I remember she used to get irritated sometimes as I disturbed her coming in her way.She got married soon,I lost my first friend.But family did'nt change,here came harani ,yes harani,peculiar name....she was 3 to 4 yrs older than me,so I found a new friend in her.......she used to be in our house the whole day....I very well remember I would pester ma to give food along with her....I used to have an unknown pleasure sitting with her and eating.......I was growing up so she was.....but as she was destined she got married in a smaller age.....I didnt realise then but now we should have stopped her early marriage.......amar sukher dukher sathi left for an other mysterious world......I was in class 10th,we shifted to our own house and one aged lady came as our household help.........I again got attatched to this lady.......I still remember I took out a piece of thorn from her foot to the surprise of my friends ....as she had eczema ,allergy in her feet.I never thought and never think them as sevants ...as soon as they are in my family they become members......She worked for three years and left due to illness........next came nibha .bibha's younger sister and harani's elder........she was with me in my colourful age and stood beside me whenever i needed her in my crisis.......now i got married.......shanichari dai entered and was with me n pinky for nine years......was more than a family member.....she left as she lost her eyesight.......but used to come evey now and then for pickle one of her favourites......the last companion in korba was firtin dai....without whom I could not imagine myself........she used to scold me,advise me even cry for me......she used bring murra laddu for me........I used to touch her feet as she was elder to me......firtin dai ..I miss you.......now in chennai I got mala......its been only one month but she calls me akka akka.....all the time.....wants to help me in those works also for which she is not paid....

the reason of remembering all my domestic helps.....is....they are the only persons who are aware of everything that one undergoes in everyday life.......as they step inside house they come to know the atmosphere of the house ....they may not question but they are the true witnesses....your parents may not be knowing such things which they know......they also get connected with us ,feel for us.I have been very lucky to have such important people in my life.......I bow to them and very much thankful to them for being there for me......whatever I am today ye unka dua hai........love u alll

what more one can wish?

we all are here with some motives.from our childhood,as we grow up,the priorities keep on changing.isnt it?at my age, my only goal in life is to make my daughter's life better and to see her excelling in every field of life. We live in a backward area of chhattisgarh,where good school is a rare thing.Thanx to NTPC that it gave the people of korba delhi public school.Why I am telling all this?The school is 17km away from our house.anybody will think twice to send a 4 yr old baby to send this far.But I never thought twice,I made myself strong and put her in prep 1.I wanted that she should be in a good school.12 years have passed,I didn't understand,when?My daughter is in class10th now.She has done her part.I am very proud to say that she participated mostly in all the competition and stood among three all these years.to add to it she has scored above 90 percent mark for consiquitive 8 years and got scholar award.She is waiting for the gold medal while leaving the school.During these years she was appointed as head girl,cultural secretary,english facilitator,and many in different classes.Really I am proud of her.You all must be wondering that I am saying about my own child....but why not?All these years I kept her on the ground by not praising her on her face...but now if I don't do this it will be doing wrong to her.I pray to all that praise your child at the same time don't let the praise go into their head.The children expects from their parents a word of encouragement which we seldom do.These thoughts were clouding in my mind and i think I am successful in bringing them as rain.Your children should be your first priority,just enjoy parenting in a selfless manner...........

mother daughter relationship

The strong bond in the family is the one that is shared by a mother and her daughter. Theirs is a bittersweet relationship, which goes through numerous ups and downs in life and in the end, still turns out to be the most intimate of all the other relations. In her childhood, a daughter copies her mom and wants to be just like her. At the age of five, her mother is like her goddess. She smears her face with her mom's lipstick and models her earrings and high heels, wanting to be just like mommy. She applies her nail polish and tries to do every thing that she sees her mother doing.

As she enters teenage, a daughter suddenly becomes the most ignorant and out-of-touch creature on the planet, for her mother. In this phase of her life, a daughter feels that her own mother does not understand her feelings. She prefers her friends over her mother and likes to spend as much time away from home as possible.Surprisingly she admits it also that she enjoys with friend rather than being at home. Then, somewhere between her twenties, a daughter realizes that the friend she was searching for throughout the teenage years was so near to her all the time and she is none other than her own mom! The relationship between a daughter and her mother is so complex, yet so simple.

When it comes to a woman and her daughter, fights are so common, be it because of the wide age gap between the two or due to the mom being over protective of her daughter or owing to the fact that the mom still treats her grown-up daughter like a kid. However, whenever there is a problem, the mother-daughter duo will be seen standing alongside and facing the world together. A daughter learns to be a woman from her mother. However, even after she becomes a mother of her own kids, she is pampered by her own mother. This is what makes their relationship all the more special.

One thing that should never crop up between a mother and her daughter is a communication gap. A daughter should always try to talk to her mother openly, be it about her studies, friends or even boyfriend. She should try to make her mother understand her viewpoint and at the same point, try to appreciate the perspective of her mother. On the other hand, a mother needs to change according to the time, minimizing the generation gap between the two. She needs to give her freedom, trusting her not to misuse it. Soon enough, the small little problems will get resolved and the two of them would be able to share a really close bond.

Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained so, in circles joined to circles, since time began.

The essential thing about mothers is that one needs to know that they are there, particularly at that age when, paradoxically, one is trying so hard to break away from parental influence.
Margot Fonteyn

Modesty: The art of encouraging people to find out for themselves how wonderful you are.

I am now 37 years old.I have seen many ups and down in my life.Now when I go back to the memory lane I understand that the UPs were for being modest and the DOWNs were for being egoistic.But the thing is that I can not relive those moments again but one thing I can do;learning the lesson I can change myself and I have started doing that.Egoism is a big obstacle in the way of our life It is so powerful that it can even families.I remember a piece of writing it goes like this...... There are a billion people in China.  It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people.  Think of it.  More than a BILLION people.  That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.  ..........what are we?now this question should not make us think inferior of ourselves.
Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts.  It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all.  Wash out your ego every once in a while, as Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it. cleanliness is next to godliness not just inbody but in humility as well.
Modesty is the lowest of the virtues, and is a confession of the deficiency it indicates.  He who undervalues himself is justly overvalued by others.There are two kinds of egotists:  Those who admit it, and the rest of us.  ~Laurence J. Peter. hahaha.......so it was a big lecture on modesty,humility and ego........I thank the modern technologies which enable us at least  to share our views .If at all it is unread ,still I have the satisfaction that I could pen it down.Let peace prevail everywhere........